My Name is Chuck
When I were young. I remember frogs jumping through the cricks. Many of them would eat flies and caterpillers. I never known anyone to eat a frog. That was until the day I met Penis Williams.
Penis Williams stood 4 ft. 7 in. tall and had scraggly hair on his face that he called a moostache. Lookied more like a face full of scattered, dead pubes, but he called it his moostache.
Anyways, I met Penis on my way home from the factory. I made my way past Jimmy's Beef Stew Market, and all of a sudden, rain drops begun falling on my sand covered overalls. The overalls were covered in sand because of the big sandbox I work in. We make sand for them kids who play in it and build stuff like truck ramps, and donuts and things.
Anyways, rain came on my overalls and the sand began turning to mud right on my overalls. I didn't know what to do. I still had about half a mile to go before getting to my shack next to the steam shop. That's when I saw the nasty, messy face of Penis Williams for the first time.
He's walking down the street like a man who knows himself. He was eating an apple and moving along as though no rain had been coming down. He walked right up to me as I stood next to the mailbox and told me that I skittered all over my overalls.
I told him it was muuud! It was mud from the sandbox that I worked in that the kids made stuff in like ramps and donuts and caves.
Penis didn't believe me that the sand was mud and still thought I skittered.
"You skittered!" he said laughing as he scratched his puby face and took another bite of his apple.
"No I did not," I spoke as calmly as I could've done. "It ain't skiTTers, it's muud."
"No, no, no! I seen mud before! That's surely dark brown, messy skitter, poopy stains on your worn out overalls!" Penis said.
He then began laughing wildly and stomping his right foot on the ground. He just kept loudly repeating, "Skitter, skitter skitter," almost as if he were singing an old hil birry song from the old town of HirBirry.
I didn't know what to do. I was real embarrassed, and by this time, the rain had soaked my entire overalls and now my whole body looked like one big skitter, 'cept it was only muuud. I swear it was only muud. Right as I thought I should just walk away, Penis Williams twisted his body, fell onto the ground, and began spasming like he was doing a crazy dance.
I slowly walked over and bent over him to see if he was ok. "Sir, you alright?"
No words. Just a bunch of spasming and little apple pieces flicking out of his mouth.
I then knelt down by his side and placed my dirty hand on his damp, spasming shoulder. "Sir, you alright?" I asked him again.
Just when I was about to ask him again, I noticed something scream through the rain and land on Penis' chest. I fell back on the backside of my overalls and spread my legs wide as muud trickled on the inside of my legs. When I came to, I looked down on Penis' chest and saw this little creature just sittin' there. I moved slowly towards spasming Penis and brought my eyes close the his chest.
"My Gosh, this might be a frog," I said.
I never seen a frog close up before. It looked like he was on a boat in the wavy sea as he rocked back and forth on Penis' spasming body. I reached out my and very slowly to try and pet the little creature, but just as I did that, Penis let out one loud spasm cough, and his tongue shot out of his mouth and began wiggling around like a caterpiller.
Next thing I know, that little frog creature slapped out his tongue and wrapped it on Penis' tongue. I never seen nothing like it. The frog's tongue stuck right on Penis' and then all of a sudden flung in Penis' mouth.
Penis was still shaking around a little bit, and getting wet, but he started settling down. I'm guessing he thought the frog creature in his mouth was the pieces of apple he was choking on, but he started chewing like it was nobody's business.
He made a grumble noise as he slowly got up out of the puddle that had accumulated around him and he scratched his scrappy face as he finished chewin' the frog creature, only he didn't know it was a frog creature and thought it was pieces of soft, choked on apple pieces.
Penis looked like he had just been through something really rough. He looked tired from spasming and coughing for as long as he did.
"Sir, you alright?" I asked.
Penis looked at me as he wiped snot from his nose. He looked like he wasn't gonna say anything, again, until he began looking at my body. Then a big ugly smile came on his face.
"You got skitters on your overalls you smelly hir birry. You got damn skitters on your overalls ya kook!"
"Uh, it's muud, I said as I wiped more rain from my forehead.
Penis then moved closer to me. "No it ain't!! Them are ski-i-i-ter-r-r-rs!" He then moved closer and sniffed. "You smell like stinky, ol', wet skitters too! Ha ha ha! Smelly skitter overalls hil birry man!"
By this time you could bet I was pretty mad at Penis Williams. I know they weren't skitters on my overalls. I hadn't had skitters on my overalls since I was fourteen and had too much applesauce from Jimmy's Beef Stew Market. Some meat got in the applesauce and I got rotten diarrhea and anal leakage and smelled like old milk, and looked like old orange juice. Stinky old, smelly stuff.
I looked back up at Penis and said, "Well you ate a frog..." "...a real slimy frog. It licked your tongue, then you took him in your mouth and chewed him up because you thought it was old, soft apple pieces that you were choking on when you were on the ground, but they weren't apple pieces, it was a frog."
Penis looked confused and scratched his messy, curly puby mess on his face again. He then slopped his mouth around, kinda like you do in the morning before you have some milk or juice or water. Penis then looked up at me with a very serious look on his face.
"You have big, old, smelly, brown, wet, rotten skitters all over your body you old hil birry! You ain't got nothing with what I do. I don't eat frogs you summa ma bitch! I don't eat frogs, and you got skitters on your overalls!" Penis said as he pointed at me and made awkward facial movements.
You could imagine I was getting real tired of this again so I just started up walking right past him. Right through the rain again.
"Where you going skitter ol' hil birry man! Ha ha! Why you running away like a little skittered overall baby?! Ha ha!"
I didn't look back. I put my hands in my wet pockets and continued on the way to my shack.
When I were young. I remember frogs jumping through the cricks. Many of them would eat flies and caterpillers. I never known anyone to eat a frog. Only look at them and watch them jump and move around in the grass and water when it rains. I guess you learn something new every day.
By the way, my name is Chuck.
When I were young. I remember frogs jumping through the cricks. Many of them would eat flies and caterpillers. I never known anyone to eat a frog. That was until the day I met Penis Williams.
Penis Williams stood 4 ft. 7 in. tall and had scraggly hair on his face that he called a moostache. Lookied more like a face full of scattered, dead pubes, but he called it his moostache.
Anyways, I met Penis on my way home from the factory. I made my way past Jimmy's Beef Stew Market, and all of a sudden, rain drops begun falling on my sand covered overalls. The overalls were covered in sand because of the big sandbox I work in. We make sand for them kids who play in it and build stuff like truck ramps, and donuts and things.
Anyways, rain came on my overalls and the sand began turning to mud right on my overalls. I didn't know what to do. I still had about half a mile to go before getting to my shack next to the steam shop. That's when I saw the nasty, messy face of Penis Williams for the first time.
He's walking down the street like a man who knows himself. He was eating an apple and moving along as though no rain had been coming down. He walked right up to me as I stood next to the mailbox and told me that I skittered all over my overalls.
I told him it was muuud! It was mud from the sandbox that I worked in that the kids made stuff in like ramps and donuts and caves.
Penis didn't believe me that the sand was mud and still thought I skittered.
"You skittered!" he said laughing as he scratched his puby face and took another bite of his apple.
"No I did not," I spoke as calmly as I could've done. "It ain't skiTTers, it's muud."
"No, no, no! I seen mud before! That's surely dark brown, messy skitter, poopy stains on your worn out overalls!" Penis said.
He then began laughing wildly and stomping his right foot on the ground. He just kept loudly repeating, "Skitter, skitter skitter," almost as if he were singing an old hil birry song from the old town of HirBirry.
I didn't know what to do. I was real embarrassed, and by this time, the rain had soaked my entire overalls and now my whole body looked like one big skitter, 'cept it was only muuud. I swear it was only muud. Right as I thought I should just walk away, Penis Williams twisted his body, fell onto the ground, and began spasming like he was doing a crazy dance.
I slowly walked over and bent over him to see if he was ok. "Sir, you alright?"
No words. Just a bunch of spasming and little apple pieces flicking out of his mouth.
I then knelt down by his side and placed my dirty hand on his damp, spasming shoulder. "Sir, you alright?" I asked him again.
Just when I was about to ask him again, I noticed something scream through the rain and land on Penis' chest. I fell back on the backside of my overalls and spread my legs wide as muud trickled on the inside of my legs. When I came to, I looked down on Penis' chest and saw this little creature just sittin' there. I moved slowly towards spasming Penis and brought my eyes close the his chest.
"My Gosh, this might be a frog," I said.
I never seen a frog close up before. It looked like he was on a boat in the wavy sea as he rocked back and forth on Penis' spasming body. I reached out my and very slowly to try and pet the little creature, but just as I did that, Penis let out one loud spasm cough, and his tongue shot out of his mouth and began wiggling around like a caterpiller.
Next thing I know, that little frog creature slapped out his tongue and wrapped it on Penis' tongue. I never seen nothing like it. The frog's tongue stuck right on Penis' and then all of a sudden flung in Penis' mouth.
Penis was still shaking around a little bit, and getting wet, but he started settling down. I'm guessing he thought the frog creature in his mouth was the pieces of apple he was choking on, but he started chewing like it was nobody's business.
He made a grumble noise as he slowly got up out of the puddle that had accumulated around him and he scratched his scrappy face as he finished chewin' the frog creature, only he didn't know it was a frog creature and thought it was pieces of soft, choked on apple pieces.
Penis looked like he had just been through something really rough. He looked tired from spasming and coughing for as long as he did.
"Sir, you alright?" I asked.
Penis looked at me as he wiped snot from his nose. He looked like he wasn't gonna say anything, again, until he began looking at my body. Then a big ugly smile came on his face.
"You got skitters on your overalls you smelly hir birry. You got damn skitters on your overalls ya kook!"
"Uh, it's muud, I said as I wiped more rain from my forehead.
Penis then moved closer to me. "No it ain't!! Them are ski-i-i-ter-r-r-rs!" He then moved closer and sniffed. "You smell like stinky, ol', wet skitters too! Ha ha ha! Smelly skitter overalls hil birry man!"
By this time you could bet I was pretty mad at Penis Williams. I know they weren't skitters on my overalls. I hadn't had skitters on my overalls since I was fourteen and had too much applesauce from Jimmy's Beef Stew Market. Some meat got in the applesauce and I got rotten diarrhea and anal leakage and smelled like old milk, and looked like old orange juice. Stinky old, smelly stuff.
I looked back up at Penis and said, "Well you ate a frog..." "...a real slimy frog. It licked your tongue, then you took him in your mouth and chewed him up because you thought it was old, soft apple pieces that you were choking on when you were on the ground, but they weren't apple pieces, it was a frog."
Penis looked confused and scratched his messy, curly puby mess on his face again. He then slopped his mouth around, kinda like you do in the morning before you have some milk or juice or water. Penis then looked up at me with a very serious look on his face.
"You have big, old, smelly, brown, wet, rotten skitters all over your body you old hil birry! You ain't got nothing with what I do. I don't eat frogs you summa ma bitch! I don't eat frogs, and you got skitters on your overalls!" Penis said as he pointed at me and made awkward facial movements.
You could imagine I was getting real tired of this again so I just started up walking right past him. Right through the rain again.
"Where you going skitter ol' hil birry man! Ha ha! Why you running away like a little skittered overall baby?! Ha ha!"
I didn't look back. I put my hands in my wet pockets and continued on the way to my shack.
When I were young. I remember frogs jumping through the cricks. Many of them would eat flies and caterpillers. I never known anyone to eat a frog. Only look at them and watch them jump and move around in the grass and water when it rains. I guess you learn something new every day.
By the way, my name is Chuck.
